Tag Archives: Black Friday

Cyber Buster

cyborg

How does American culture follow up Black Friday (which now occurs on a Tuesday ) with Cyber Monday, of course!

Why there’s even a CyberMonday.com site to GUIDE you through the rapids as my local news began touring today for early morning viewers.

And as a result, CYBER BUSTER is DOORBUSTER’s closing act (one can only pray!) It’s also my new favorite new* annual retail, ecommerce, mcommerce concept.

DOORBUSTER is easily grasped, and also sadly played out at midnight tramplings on local news footage over the years. I didn’t see any such reports this year, thankfully. But CYBER BUSTER is NOT so easily grasped. It has an ominous tone, like your computer or smartphone could break. Or spontaneously combust. Or that hackers are just champing at the bit for you to log on (yes, “champing”, go ahead Google/Wiki it.)

Prior to 2001, Black Friday was a cold marketing analyst term usually reserved for quarterly statistics. Now it’s on the yearly calendar.

However, Cyber Monday, though somewhat chilling as a phrase, loses ALL its power through retail exploitation WHILE ALSO taking all the prior gravitas out of Black Friday.

So I’ve come to shunning my devices on Cyber Monday due to the “resistance is futile” cyborgs overtake the universe connotations therein, and I’ve turned it into my own personal device-free day.

Hey, now there’s a Black Friday follow-up concept: DEVICE FREE MONDAY. Can you imagine?

p.s. BRAVO to STAPLES for being closed on Thanksgiving (though seriously, whose idea was it that there would EVER be wild demand for office supplies in a tryptophan induced shopping fog? Diamonds, shiny bikes and sexy electronics SURE but stuff from STAPLES…? Seriously?!)

*new, as in, the last 10 years

Tuesday–the NEW Black Friday

BlackFriday StartsTuesday

CultureArtMedia foretold Tuesday is the NEW Black Friday. So it is with great humility that I reprise Shopping Cart Abandonment this week (again!) Plus, I’m a sucker for marquis lighting and therefore, could not resist “repurposing” the above mailer from a local retailer that I received today on “Black Tuesday” Eve!

Since every pre-K student knows that Friday actually comes after Tuesday, can someone PLEASE teach ALL retailers the days of the week…?!

 

Shopping Cart Abandonment

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Oh my, I seem to have missed Black Friday.

That’s because Black Friday started two Tuesdays ago when my TV screen became possessed with ads for Black Friday sales before I even bought the Thanksgiving turkey. The TV medium was then overtaken by Grey Thursday ads, meaning the retailers that now open their doors on Thanksgiving Day. No matter, both grey and black shopping days are really just RED herrings BECAUSE apparently there’s a much BIGGER problem that e-commerce and m-commerce executives lose sleep over, which is:
shopping cart abandonment.

oh, the horror!

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Two posts back, I mentioned that I was taking an e-commerce course (see Selfie-Ready Always!) through which this “catastrophe” was revealed. Listening to the instructor droning on about SEO and sales conversion, and then suddenly becoming full of gravitas, spit and vinegar over “shopping cart abandonment” was a little comical to me (given it was the same week the nation was gripped in Ebola paranoia.) The instructor stressed that shopping cart abandonment is a “real problem” resulting in $70 zillionbillion in lost sales annually.

Wait a minute…$70 zillionbillion in lost sales over things people didn’t want or were so uninterested in that the next distraction to come along bumped their attention?

Hmmm…let me do the math on this again…
Somebody puts something in a virtual shopping cart = $0 spent
They leave the website or app and thereby abandon the shopping cart = $0 spent
And yet…
SOMEHOW this translates in MBA math to = $70 zillionbillion in lost sales annually!

To the instructor’s credit, the only validity to this potentially lost revenue is the inadvertent pointing out of shopping addiction. Sad but true, whenever I’ve polled my Media Studies students on what makes them “tick” their first response is very often shopping.

My esteemed colleagues, Rev. Billy and Rev. Dr. Tami Coyne, who I’ve mentioned in previous posts and who both happen to be reverends, have shown me the light about the evils of consumerism as well as schooled me on shopping cart abandonment as merely the harmless online pastime also known as tantric shopping.

Therefore, in an effort to FIGHT the evils of BOTH shopping cart abandonment AND shopping addiction, I say,

ABANDON AWAY!
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‘TIS THE SEASON

photos by B. McDonough
Shopping Cart by Mrs. Green’s
Black Coat by IssacMizrahiLive!
Turqouise Earmuffs by Bula
Evergreen rhinestone Sunglasses by Vera Wang